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Fear of Conflict

One reason we avoid conflict is due to fears we are experiencing. Examples are the fear of losing things we value such as face, control,  the relationship, self-respect, our reputation, hard won success, and something else important to us. We may have other fears, too, that impede our ability to effectively engage in conflict. Often there is no grounding in reality for our fears and even when the fear is real we might blow it out of proportion.

Which of your fears about a conflict are grounded in reality?

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Clarity is Charity

Some of us are more charitable than others when we consider the many ways we have to give to one another, to share, to support, to help and so on. Being clear and asking for clarity when in conflict are forms of charity, too. These acts require us to be selfless, compassionate and humble.

In what ways could you be more charitable in a conflict you are having?

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Forgiveability

Some things that people say and do in our interpersonal disputes are unforgiveable. Some words and actions, however, are forgivable, but sometimes we act as though they are unforgiveable. Not distinguishing between what constitutes an egregious act can harm us and our relationships.

What are you able to forgive that you are not?

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Irreconcilable Differences

The expression ‘irreconcilable differences’ is often referred to about marriages or other relationships that appear to be doomed for failure due to the differences that are apparent. It begs the question whether it is feasible to mend things at these times and if saying a conflict is not resolvable is actually a cop-out.

What may it take for apparent irreconcilable differences in your life to actually be reconcilable?

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Temper Tantrums

Temper tantrums are usually associated with children, but I expect many of us have witnessed adults display conduct that could be easily likened to an infantile outburst. This sort of behaviour is often associated with not getting our own way and becoming insistent and demanding in an effort to achieve it.

If you turn to temper tantrums as a way of getting your way, how does that advance reconciliation?

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