Bringing up a difficult issue that we expect will upset the other person can be unsettling. We may bring it up – as in vomit – with all the distaste that implies. Or, we may choose to carefully and thoughtfully raise the issue – as in holding it high and acknowledging its importance.
How do you best receive difficult issues that might also work when delivering them?
To be an effective apology it is important that it comes from the heart, that it is sincere and a true acknowledgement of our inappropriate and hurtful behaviour and the impact it caused the other person. Apologies do not have to be accepted to be effective.
When you are on the receiving end of an apology, what makes it effective for you that you may not always do for others?
Self-blame, like guilt, can be a useless sentiment unless we learn from it. After all, it ends up being a waste of time to be hard on ourselves and fret over doing and saying things we cannot do over.
What is there to learn from something you are blaming yourself for that you will not repeat it?
When our interpersonal conflicts arouse feelings in us, anger is commonly expressed. However, other emotions – such as disappointment, hurt, disgust, shock, betrayal and others – reflect different ways we are affected, and an identification of them often warrants further reflection.
What are three emotions you are experiencing about a conflict?
After a conflict some of us hope the other person will apologize to us. When one is not forthcoming we may experience renewed resentment. The apparent resolution of the conflict may no longer feel satisfying.
How might you reconcile a conflict without it requiring an apology?
