Sometimes we use an expression like “clearing the air” to describe actions after a conflict which are aimed at removing lingering tension. The phrase is an interesting visual and one that requires mutual agreement about what clear air will look like, be like and feel like between us.
What will clearing the air be like for you and the other person about a lingering conflict?
Bringing up a difficult issue that we expect will upset the other person can be unsettling. We may bring it up – as in vomit – with all the distaste that implies. Or, we may choose to carefully and thoughtfully raise the issue – as in holding it high and acknowledging its importance.
How do you best receive difficult issues that might also work when delivering them?
To be an effective apology it is important that it comes from the heart, that it is sincere and a true acknowledgement of our inappropriate and hurtful behaviour and the impact it caused the other person. Apologies do not have to be accepted to be effective.
When you are on the receiving end of an apology, what makes it effective for you that you may not always do for others?
Self-blame, like guilt, can be a useless sentiment unless we learn from it. After all, it ends up being a waste of time to be hard on ourselves and fret over doing and saying things we cannot do over.
What is there to learn from something you are blaming yourself for that you will not repeat it?
When our interpersonal conflicts arouse feelings in us, anger is commonly expressed. However, other emotions – such as disappointment, hurt, disgust, shock, betrayal and others – reflect different ways we are affected, and an identification of them often warrants further reflection.
What are three emotions you are experiencing about a conflict?
