Picking on others inevitably leads to conflict of various sorts. Yet, some people thrive on interacting in ways that put others down and creating the conflict that ensues. This form of bullying, however, is really a cowardly way of trying to be powerful.
How are people actually perceived as powerless when they pick on others?
Many of us have fears about conflict. And many of those fears are based more on our imagination than reality. Our histories and experiences affect what we carry around including those which result in a resistance that fuels our fears and adds to the negative dynamic.
What fears are not real about a conflict you are resisting?
Sometimes avoiding conflict is prudent. Many times though, doing so serves no purpose other than to build resentment. It takes courage to face the other person and ourselves and make the effort to reconcile differences that may initially seem irreconcilable.
What do you need courage to say or do in a conflict you are avoiding?
When a conflict begins to erupt some of us freeze. Inwardly we are often confused, blocked and uncertain. Outwardly we may appear cold, aloof and distant. In either case, our ability to effectively engage and connect with the other person is frozen too.
How may you defrost when in conflict, if you tend to freeze?
After a conflict is ostensibly over, some of us tend to crave the connection we lost. The void that lingers seems to get emptier as we realize the disconnect is having a worse impact on us than the conflict itself.
How may you maintain connection during a conflict as to not disconnect from the relationship when it is over?
