Whether outwardly or inwardly, some of us cry about some interpersonal conflicts. Hurt feelings, not getting what we want, demeaning attacks on our beings, loss of face, shame and other by-products of conflict – not done well – can lead to much sadness, disappointment and other deep emotions. These feelings can seriously affect us and lead to tears that we weep or feel inside.
What are you crying for – internally or externally – about a conflict you are in?
Many of us equate fighting and conflict and yet, nothing says they have to be the same thing. For instance, we might figure that fighting for something we want or believe in is the only way to get it. On the other hand, if we share our wants and the things we believe in with the intention of hearing the other person’s – and having a conciliatory dialogue with her or him – we might find instead that there is no need to fight.
What are you fighting for that you may not need to?
Running away from conflict is more than avoiding the tension, the disagreement, the risk of losing the relationship. It is fleeing from it altogether – not acknowledging its existence and ignoring its impact. In some cases, running away from our interpersonal conflicts is important for our well-being. Other times it is more important to be well within ourselves and in relation to the other person by staying and facing the dissension and together finding a way through.
How will running away from a conflict you are in or anticipating positively or negatively affect your well-being?
Many of us do not view interpersonal conflict as necessary. Yet, voicing our perspectives and discovering where others are coming from – even when it’s disparate from our place and space – is necessary for developing and sustaining connection, if that’s important to us.
What makes a current conflict you are involved in necessary – for both you and the other person?
Some conflicts stick to us. Or maybe it’s really that we cling to them. We have trouble getting over things the other person said – or the things we said. The scenarios we replay often get distorted along the way and we may even cling to those inaccurate memories as though they are real.
How may you un-cling from a conflict you are clinging to?
