Some conflicts lead to a breakdown and break-up of the relationship. In some cases, severing the ties in these ways is the optimal outcome. In others the results are devastating – leading to enormous regrets and loss. And in both cases we much later may look back and question the reasons and necessity of ending a connection that meant a lot to us at one time.
In what ways will severing ties due to a conflict you are having not be the optimal outcome?
Being humble is one of those traits that stands us in a good stead when a conflict begins to emerge or has already evolved. Humility entails, among other things, being open, curious, un-blaming, thoughtful, flexible and non-judgmental. It is also about not having to be right or have all the answers.
How will you be humble in a conflict you are having?
Sometimes there are situations that lead us to anticipate that a conflict will erupt. The more we think of this happening the more we may add to the possibility. This might be by the defensive or other stance we portray – physically or emotionally.
What stance may you take – rather than one of negative expectancy – regarding a situation you have in mind?
Interpersonal conflict can be painful in many ways. We hurt; the other person hurts; those around us often hurt, too. Sometimes, our bodies reflect the pain we feel too. It may be difficult to connect this sort of pain with the potential for gain and growth. However, there are lessons to be learned from conflict if we pay attention to what happened for us and the other person, what pained us both and why – and how we both played a part in its evolution.
How might you grow from what you learned about your last conflict?
Some of us may say the best part of an interpersonal conflict is ‘making up’. This may be with an apology and acknowledged reconciliation about our differences and other ways. Some of us may say though, that making up is about creating excuses to justify our behaviour, or pretending things are okay until they seem to be.
What constitutes making up for you?
