Sometimes we react to a perceived offence without considering that the other person’s intention may not be what we think. Rather, we attribute negative motives and respond impulsively. We are careless and it appears we could care less.

If you care about the other person in a conflict you are having with her or him, what do careful responses look or sound like?

‘Clash and dash’ is one way of managing conflict. It refers to the act of fighting, asserting our view, not listening, and quickly taking ourselves out of the interaction. If we choose to clash and dash we leave no room for reconciling our differences. It seems somewhat of a cowardly and self-centered approach. And it may also be one that reflects the fears of the person who clashes and then, dashes.

What perceived fears underlie a clash and dash approach you have used in a conflict?

Ill-managed conflict costs organizations in many ways besides the expense of litigation and related claims. Other costs include the loss of productivity, morale, motivation, creative thinking, decision-making, jobs, time, energy, reputation, health, personal and professional relationships, and so on. Well-managed conflict, on the other hand, leads to results that justify the importance and need for effective conflict management systems and processes.

What may you do differently to help lower the high cost of conflict in your organization?

Once we become provoked in an interpersonal conflict our minds tend to become muddled with thoughts that are not always productive. We lose clarity about what is happening and often begin to fabricate the story going on between us. We might exaggerate the circumstances and find excuses for our part in it.

How might you clear your head when you are provoked as to not fictionalize what is occurring?