One cause of conflict is when someone tries to assert power over another. This phenomenon occurs in organizations, families, friendships, and relationships of all sorts. Sometimes power is perceived and not real. In either case, we often interact according to how we view the other person and ourselves in relation to the power we believe we and they have in the situation.
What power are you using – or giving up – in an interpersonal conflict?
Ill-managed conflict costs organizations in many ways besides the expense of litigation and related claims. Other costs include the loss of productivity, morale, motivation, creative thinking, decision-making, jobs, time, energy, reputation, health, personal and professional relationships, and so on. Well-managed conflict, on the other hand, leads to results that justify the importance and need for effective conflict management systems and processes.
What may you do differently to help lower the high cost of conflict in your organization?
Once we become provoked in an interpersonal conflict our minds tend to become muddled with thoughts that are not always productive. We lose clarity about what is happening and often begin to fabricate the story going on between us. We might exaggerate the circumstances and find excuses for our part in it.
How might you clear your head when you are provoked as to not fictionalize what is occurring?
When some of us get into a conflict we become louder, more assertive and more talkative. We may interrupt, swear, call names and use these and other techniques to prove we are right. It appears, at times, that such ways of coping with conflict are examples of ‘showing off’, and they have the same sort of impact as when we grandstand for other reasons. When used in conflict – rather than intimidating the other person as may be the intention – showing off often arouses instead feelings of repulsion, pity, antagonism and even humour.
How do you show off in conflict?
If we don’t protect our hearts when we are in conflict with others, our undefended selves might let us down. We may lose our equilibrium and react in ways that serve no purpose other than to perpetuate the conflict and our inner turmoil.
How will you protect yourself from losing your balance when in conflict?
