art work by John Ceprano
CINERGY (tm) - Peacebuilding... one person at a time


This quote applies to just about everything I guess 😊 And, it is used here in our conversation today as it relates to interpersonal conflict.

There have been so many times after interpersonal conflicts that I’ve wanted a do-over!  I think of things I wished I’d said or hadn’t said. I think of what I might have misinterpreted. I think of how else I should have reacted. I wonder what I don’t know, what I didn’t ask, what the other person may not know or what they interpreted – incorrectly – and so on.

As in other blogs in which I have talked about the aftermath of conflict and its many machinations, this one invites you to consider what might be a way forward regarding a dispute you have had when you find yourself going back – agonizing, worrying, mad at yourself, angry at the other person. So, consider a dispute about which you wish it had a better ending. You might feel as though there is no recourse at this point. The questions for this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog contemplate what might support your quest to find a better ending despite these feelings.

  • What was the dispute about?
  • About what specifically do you continue to agonize?
  • Consider what do you wish you had said? Not said?
  • How might you describe the current ending of that dispute?
  • How might the other person describe where things are at now between you?
  • What don’t you know about the other person and their experience of the dispute, at this point? What doesn’t the other person know about you and your experience of the dispute do you think?
  • What is your preferred ending to this dispute?
  • What might you say or do to make your preferred ending a reality?
  • What challenges will you face to make the preferred ending happen? How will you overcome those challenges?
  • How will you feel when the preferred ending is reached? How might the other person feel?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have now that you didn’t have before you answered these questions?

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