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Conflict “Do-Over”

You may have had times that you wish you could have a conflict “do-over”. These are situations about which we ruminate – wishing we had said something differently or hadn’t said anything! These are situations in which we realize we derailed any chance for reconciliation, collaboration or compromise. These are situations we look back on regretting we acted in ways that hurt the other person and ourselves.

While we cannot do conflicts over, we can learn what to do and not to do the next time. This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider what a “do-over” of a specific conflict might be like, to be able to handle a similar situation more effectively if it (or some form of it) appears again.

  • What was the conflict situation?
  • What specific parts do you wish you could do-over?
  • What is it about those specific parts that have lingered on for you in terms of the impact on the other person?
  • How do you describe the impact on them?
  • What parts have lingered on in terms of the impact on you? How do you describe the impact on you?
  • What specifically could you have done differently that would have not resulted in that impact on the other person? On you?
  • What (else) might the other person say you could have done differently?
  • What precluded you from managing the situation in the way you would have preferred?
  • What are 3 of your strongest learnings from this situation?
  • What do you need to be able to apply those learnings the next time you are faced with a similar situation?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?


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