Many of us tend to avoid facing the other person about matters that are creating discord. It takes courage, in some situations, to step up and listen patiently to the other person’s viewpoints, fault-finding, and upset while remaining patient and open and non-judgemental.
What does it take for you to step up to conflict with courage?
Conflict is inevitable and pretending it doesn’t exist is not only denial. It is also an unrealistic view. That is, there is nothing to be gained by denying the existence of conflict and lots to be gained from accepting it is part of our lives. The sooner we figure out how to maximize the positive effects of conflict, the better.
What are you denying about a conflict that’s not helping you and the other person reconcile your differences?
Using creative to qualify the word conflict does not resonate for many. It is challenging to be creative when our brains are on high alert due to challenges we often experience when in conflict. We may for instance perceive threats to our values, needs, or identity. At these times, our ability to engage constructively is compromised. It doesn’t mean though that we are unable to step back from the conflict and draw on our inner creative resources.
How may you approach a current conflict with creative ideas for resolution?
One thing that keeps us entrenched in our conflicts is remaining focused on what went wrong, what the other person said or did that is affecting us, and an ongoing need to justify our actions. These thoughts and feelings inform the frame we put around what occurred. Re-framing our conflicts is pivotal to managing them from a different mindset.
How might you re-frame a current conflict in a way that is more hopeful, positive and productive?
Sometimes it is hard to give up the fight because we feel so certain about our view. Or, for some reason we just do not want the other person to get her or his way. When this happens we tend to lose track of what we are fighting for and risk that the relationship will fumble along with the issues continuing to be in dispute indefinitely.
What is worth fighting for in a conflict?
