Standing up for ourselves in some conflicts can be a huge challenge depending on the person and circumstances. Not doing so often leads to lingering self-talk that we are weak and lack courage to assert our perspective. It is likely that most of the time our ability to stand up for ourselves is actually strong and for some reason we are choosing to believe we are not capable.
What ability to stand up for yourself are you not acknowledging regarding a conflict you are experiencing?
Picking on others inevitably leads to conflict of various sorts. Yet, some people thrive on interacting in ways that put others down and creating the conflict that ensues. This form of bullying, however, is really a cowardly way of trying to be powerful.
How are people actually perceived as powerless when they pick on others?
Many of us have fears about conflict. And many of those fears are based more on our imagination than reality. Our histories and experiences affect what we carry around including those which result in a resistance that fuels our fears and adds to the negative dynamic.
What fears are not real about a conflict you are resisting?
Sometimes avoiding conflict is prudent. Many times though, doing so serves no purpose other than to build resentment. It takes courage to face the other person and ourselves and make the effort to reconcile differences that may initially seem irreconcilable.
What do you need courage to say or do in a conflict you are avoiding?
When a conflict begins to erupt some of us freeze. Inwardly we are often confused, blocked and uncertain. Outwardly we may appear cold, aloof and distant. In either case, our ability to effectively engage and connect with the other person is frozen too.
How may you defrost when in conflict, if you tend to freeze?
