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Care-Taking and Conflict

It is likely that we are more vulnerable, more insecure and more reactive when we are not taking care of ourselves. Our resilience suffers and we interact in ways that serve us poorly. It is also likely that we initiate a conflict or react unproductively when we perceive a slight – even when one is not intended. As a consequence, our health and well-being suffer even more under such circumstances.

Lack of sleep, stress, worry, depression, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, sickness, relationship troubles and other possible conditions contribute to poor outcomes, ill-managed interactions and unpredictable responses.

To consider how insufficient care-taking contributed to a conflict in your life, it will help to bring to mind a situation in which you overreacted and interacted in ways that were destructive (or, at least, unproductive):

What started the dispute, from what you recall?

What was it about?

How did you react that you know did not serve you well?

What was going on for you – in your life – that might have adversely contributed to the conflict dynamic?

What else might have added to your negative reaction?

What did you realize – before or after the dispute erupted – that was also a signal of things generally being amiss in your life?

When you think about this situation now, what could you have said or done differently?

What mindset did you need to be able to do so?

What different outcome might have resulted (in response to your answers to the above two questions)?

What did you learn from your reaction in this dispute in terms of how your well-being influences your reactions?

What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?

What insights do you have?

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