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Tired of Fighting

Sometimes in my conflict management coaching practice I hear clients say – about their interpersonal conflicts – that they are tired of fighting with someone (in some cases with a number of people). It is not just in long term work relationships that I hear plaints of this nature. Being tired of conflict with personal relationships, partners and family members also generate the feeling of “I’ve had enough!”

Beleaguered by continuous negative emotions and interactions, my clients who are fed up are often looking to coaching to help change the way they interact, or to decide whether continuing with the relationship serves them anymore, or to figure out if they can better understand the continuing feuds. These and other objectives (when clients say they are tired of fighting) motivate them, in most cases, to also consider what specifically compels the continuing dynamic about which they fatigue.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to consider a person with whom you would say you are tired of fighting.

  • Who is the person with whom you are tired of fighting?
  • What do you fight about that is especially tiring for you? What are you most tired of in that regard?
  • Why is that especially tiring (your answer to the previous question)?
  • How do you want to feel instead of “tired of fighting”?
  • What options have you considered rather than fighting?
  • If you were to resolve your differences so that you wouldn’t be tired of fighting with this person anymore, what would that look like?
  • How realistic is the above answer on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not at all and 10 being very?
  • If a realistic outcome, how might you make it happen?
  • If it is not realistic to resolve your differences, what other options are there? What are the pros and cons of the options you named (above) for you? What are the pros and cons for the other person?
  • In the end, what is a proactive way to not become “tired of fighting”?
  • What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
  • What insights do you have?

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