“Making Faces” in Conflict
When in conflict it is often the case that our face (and the other person’s face, too) tells a story of what we are experiencing, how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about the other person and so on.
Facial messages typically show up and signal our emotional reaction before we express it verbally – if at all! It’s hard to disguise these feelings and in fact, we often don’t need to say anything because our face says it all.
When we make faces or notice others’ facial expressions regarding a conflict, the opportunity presents itself to reflect and share what we are reacting to. Or, though some faces are daunting, it’s time to ask the person what is happening for her or him.
In either case – sharing or asking – the early signals of dissension demonstrated on our faces are prime for addressing and preventing unnecessary conflict.
This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog asks you to consider a conflict when someone else made a face at you and one in which you know you did to another.
- When another person made a face to you, how do you describe her or his face?
- What was happening that seemed to lead to her or his reaction?
- How did you interpret what you observed in her or his facial language? What else may she or he have been feeling?
- What would have been a conflict masterful comment or question when you observed the other person’s face?
- What happened in this conflict after the person made a face?
- When you made a face in a conflict, what was the situation?
- What led to you making the face you did?
- How might you describe your face?
- What might the other person say additionally or differently about your facial expression? What might a good friend observing your face say additionally or differently?
- What message did you want the other person to get from your face? What conflict masterful comments may you have made instead of making a face?
- What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
- What insights do you have?
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