art work by John Ceprano
CINERGY (tm) - Peacebuilding... one person at a time

Your conflict shadow

It is common when we are in conflict that different parts of us emerge. Some are familiar to us and some parts we do not recognize. Some parts reflect what we think is appropriate for the situation. Some are the inner voices that question our actions and challenge our intentions. Some are our dark sides we try to suppress. These and other possible parts of us form the many layers that are within us as we find ourselves confused and conflicted about a dispute and its dynamic that are adversely affecting us.

Conflict shadows may be seen as the dark part of us that follows behind and sometimes ahead depending on where the light is shining. There are times the shadow looms larger than we are. Sometimes it’s smaller. Shadows are distorted views visually but not necessarily psychically. The shadow may be seen as our companion – supporting us in our journey – ever present.

Considering your shadow in a current dispute, how would you answer these ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions):

  • How would you describe the part of you that is emerging in the shadow in that dispute?
  • What is motivating its appearance?
  • What is comforting for you about the shadow being like this?
  • What is not comforting about it?
  • What part of the shadow relates to an old script that you would like to get rid of?
  • How would you like to change the shadow?
  • What would the changes mean for you in this dispute?
  • How may the changes have an impact on the outcome?
  • How may the changes have an impact on your relationship with the other person?
  • How may your shadow help you in the future?

What other ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) may you add here?

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