Let’s face it, we sometimes spend needless time in blame mode about our interpersonal disputes. Just think of all the energy we put out! I’m not always sure what compels blame. Are we trying to take attention away from our wrong-doing? Are we thinking it will make things better if we blame? Or, that we will feel better? Do we want to make things worse? Blaming can be impulsive and we don’t always realize that we have choices about how we react. That is, unless we are getting something out of blaming, which itself is an important question to ask ourselves, we have the ability to change a tendency to blame.
It’s true that people say and do awful and hurtful things that are not worthy of our forgiveness and are downright mean, obnoxious, rude and irreparable. Other things we may blow out of proportion. Since blaming doesn’t make things better, it helps to think about what is going on for us at these times and remove ourselves from the negativity. Here are some reflective questions that may shed a light on a tendency to blame. You may want to consider a situation when you found yourself stuck in blame when you answer them.
What other comments do you have on this topic? Please feel free to add more ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) that may be useful for understanding why we blame.
© CINERGY® Coaching, June 2011
3 Responses to Understanding Why We Blame