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Change & Conflict

When it comes to the wide range of changes that can occur in our professional and personal lives, anything that shifts the status quo – negative or positive – is known to exacerbate feelings of insecurity, vulnerability and other emotions. At these times, many of us are conscious of why we are anxious. For others, our feelings are at an unconscious or subconscious level. We just feel uncomfortable, upset or off-balance and are not quite sure what is specifically bothering us.

It is often the case that change of any sort, precipitates interpersonal conflicts that may for instance, flow from our related fears and tension. Gaining increased awareness of what is happening for us will help reduce the tendency to resist it to our detriment or let the related emotions overwhelm us and contribute to the eruption of unnecessary conflict. Here are some questions that may help put things into perspective when change is happening or about to happen:

  • What is changing and what about it are you resisting or unsettled about?
  • What does your reaction tell you about what is important to you in this particular situation?
  • How would you describe the emotions you are experiencing at these times?
  • If you haven’t mentioned a fear of some sort, what fear(s) if any, do you have about the change(s)?
  • In what ways may you be taking out your unsettled thoughts and feelings on others?
  • What are your hopes about the changes? What other positive outcomes may the change(s) bring for you?
  • How would you rather be and be seen in times of change?
  • What ways may you manage the change in a way that aligns with this image of yourself?
  • How will those ways reduce your anxiety?
  • What may you need to learn that will help you cope more effectively in your adjustment to change?

Any other comments on this topic of change and conflict or what are other possible ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) you suggest?

© CINERGY® Coaching, June 2011

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