YES 1+1=5
“I’m at that stage of my life where I keep myself out of arguments even if you tell me 1+1=5 you’re absolutely correct, enjoy.”
I laughed when I read this quote (author unknown)! One of my conflict management coaching clients said something to this effect that same day, and both reminded me of the saying “pick your battles” – but, even more than that, too. My client’s mood and how I read the tone of this quote were more of the nature of ‘not worth the bother’, ‘makes me tired just thinking about it, ‘who cares, really?’
I decided, based on that conversation and the impact on the client, that this week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog would speak to those sentiments and our reactions when disagreeing (arguing, asserting our views, etc.) just doesn’t feel like the way we want to spend our time and energy. With that in mind, it will help to bring to mind an interpersonal conflict for which these sentiments resonate as you respond to this series of questions:
- What is the conflict about?
- How would you describe your reaction to the conflict dynamic – in the nature of what was described above?
- How might you explain what is specifically motivating that reaction (your answer to the previous question)?
- If there was something the other person might have said or done that would have resulted in a different reaction – such that you would have engaged with them – what would that have been?
- How would you have likely responded then?
- What are the positive things that have come out of you not engaging in this conflict?
- What hasn’t been as positive?
- What do you know about yourself that is evident by your reaction in the situation you described (first question)?
- What do you know about the types of conflicts – in general – from which you plan to stay away?
- Considering your answers to the questions so far, what do you know about the types of conflicts that are worth engaging in?
- What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
- What insights do you have now that you didn’t have before you answered these questions?
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