Conflict On Purpose
When we react to what others say or do there are times we are especially offended because we feel, at a consciousness or unconscious level, that they are offending us on purpose. In fact, we know there are times that is the person’s motive. That is, we may believe or know it is their way of retaliating, of getting a rise out of us, of hurting our feelings, and so on.
This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog explores the notion that we and others create and contribute to both inner and outer conflict when we offend others on purpose and when we think someone else intends to offend us.
If this topic resonates for you, here are some questions to answer, considering either or both scenarios in your life:
- When you sense or know for sure someone has intentionally offended you, what was the situation about?
- What did the other person specifically say or do that was or seemed intentional to you?
- For what reasons did she or he intend to do so, do you think (in relation to the above question)?
- What other purposes might there be to consider?
- If you reacted to this or another situation by purposely hurting the other person back, what did you say or do?
- What was your purpose besides wanting to hurt the other person as a consequence of what they said or did?
- In another scenario you can think of, when you initiated a conflict by purposely hurting the other person, what compelled you to do so?
- What was your purpose then?
- What reaction did you experience from the other person? How did that impact you? The relationship? What positive outcomes occurred?
- What might be a preferable approach to achieve a more positive result, if you wanted one?
- What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
- What insights do you have?
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